


Stand By You

by CheerUpLovely



Category: Arrow (TV 2012)
Genre: Established Relationship, F/M, Nightmares, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-30
Updated: 2015-05-30
Packaged: 2018-04-02 01:52:58
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,082
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4041154
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CheerUpLovely/pseuds/CheerUpLovely
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Oliver Queen still had nightmares … nightmares of the island, Hong Kong and sometimes of losing his loved ones. The worst ones were when these horrors were mixed, the words parts of his life meshed into one prison of despair that he couldn’t escape.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Stand By You

**Author's Note:**

> Written by @CockyVigilante, I merely edited and added to his genius.

~Oliver~

Oliver Queen still had nightmares … nightmares of the island, Hong Kong and sometimes of losing his loved ones. The worst ones were when these horrors were mixed, the words parts of his life meshed into one prison of despair that he couldn’t escape. Those who saw him as the hero vigilante were wrong; he didn’t just fight against the villains, but against his own demons. Unfortunately for him, when he was sleeping, the demons were stronger than his will to fight, and the sorrows he attempted to drown had learned how to swim.

This night was no different. Usually by night he was the confident, brave Vigilante, the Hood, the Arrow, but right now he was stirring heavily beneath the duvet and his breathing was heavy and uneven. A few hours ago the duvet had been a sanctuary of warmth, it always felt that way after his years of not sleeping in a proper bed, but now it seemed to trap him, holding him into the nightmare as it played out. Restless and unable to wake, he heaved in his breaths.

This dream...this nightmare...it was a bad one. Karma had caught him, and for all the sins and mistakes he’d made on the island, it had fallen to Felicity to suffer for his failures. It made sense - there was no clearer way to hurt him than to hurt her. How could Oliver even think he deserved happiness, anyway? What made him deserving of a peaceful life, of the love of a beautiful woman, when he’d made so many bad choices, so many wrong turns? His punishment had come. Payment needed to be made, and he fell to his knees, watching the gun pointed at his woman’s head, no way to interrupt...no way to stop it...no way to save her…

All this was for the lives he had taken away. All the lives he’d been unable to save. Shadow, Maseo, Sara...even Tommy, his mother Moira, and for a short while even Thea had been at death’s door because of his actions. The list went on, more names than he could count when he included the lives he’d taken as the Vigilante. He wasn’t above his own law, he had to pay the price...he paid it every day, and kept paying it as his life went on.

Felicity’s life was not a payment he could afford to make. Not for any sin.

“No, no, no,” he pleaded, his voice tight and desperate as he begged so readily for her life. “Kill me … you want me, not her. Let her go. Please. Please don’t hurt her.” His gaze was fixed on the masked man who held the gun to Felicity’s head, because to look at her frightened, tear-stained face as she begged him to help her was more than he could handle. Oliver didn’t recognise who it was that held her, but it was hard to figure out when his features and even his voice kept changing through the dream. Slade? Ra’s al Ghul? His list of enemies wasn’t short, and all of them would do this to him given the opportunity.

BOOM.

Without a word, his pleads were refused. All deals were off before they were accepted, and after a soft thud, the room fell into a stunned silence. Felicity was dead.

BOOM without a word … the deal was off and the room fell into silence. Felicity was dead.

“NO!” Oliver yelled out and snapped awake. He bolted upright in the bed, the blankets falling into his lap as he hands fisted into the sheet to ground himself. He panted heavily as he observed the bedroom, each breath not quite getting him enough oxygen. 

It was dark, quiet, and beneath the sound of his own breaths was a far more comforting sound. His gaze fell onto the smaller body beside him, still lying under the duvet he was tossing aside and sleeping peacefully. It was Felicity. His Felicity was safe, happy, and breathing beside him. He leaned closer to see if he’d woken her with the noise he’d made, but she didn’t stir, and his next breath was a sigh of relief.

Sickness stirred in his stomach and he slipped out of the bed to the adjoining bathroom. He needed to wash his face...and to throw up. As his waking mind processed the dream, all his fears came to light and he couldn’t handle that. He’d dreamt of this before but it had never been so vivid, so tragic, and his stomach was rolling before he could get a handle on himself. He threw up twice, then put his head under the running tap, willing the quiet to return.

 

***

~Felicity~

In the field, it was always Oliver who protected Felicity. He kept her safe, kept their enemies from finding her, though she helped in equal measure with all the technical support she gave to Oliver and the team. He ensured she was protected at all times, whether she remained in the foundry or, on rare occasions, accompanied him out on a mission. 

But at home, in bed, and especially during the night, it was Felicity who protected Oliver. She knew all about his sleeping issues, and she had to remind him each time he woke that he was safe, that he wasn’t on the island or God knows what horrible place. He rarely told her what he dreamt of, but to rattle him so badly she knew it had to be bad. He tried to protect her from those memories. So she reminded him of the important things - that he was home, that he was with her, and that he was safe. 

Tonight was another onslaught of nightmares, it seemed, and Felicity woke up when she felt her boyfriend stirring uncomfortably beside her. She watched him - her strength, her Oliver - with a worried expression on her face, just like every other time this happened, she didn’t know what to do. Wake him up? A bad idea, with his training that kind of shock would end with him lunging at her as a threat while he wasn’t wake. Try to hug him and comfort him? He might just struggle more against her and sink further into his fears. But regardless, he was restless and struggling and she hated doing nothing.

“Wake up, wake up,” she babbled quietly to herself, hoping that the small sound might wake Oliver from his nightmare.

And it happened. After a few moments, her handsome man was awake, struggling, worried...frozen in fear. Felicity knew Oliver would be devastated to see that she’d seen him in this state; weak, scared...vulnerable in ways he never wanted to be. So when she saw him shift she closed her eyes quickly, levelling her breath. It was a cheap trick to pretend that she was sleeping, that his actions hadn’t roused her at all from sleep, but it worked.

She felt him get out of the bed, and once she heard a few steps she looked up to see him disappearing into the bathroom. She sat up when she heard the sound of retching; she’d never heard a nightmare get that bad for him before, and she frowned. “Oliver…” she whispered to herself. 

No. This was coming to an end. No more pretending.

***

~Together~

Oliver remained slumped in the bathroom, his forearms rested on the sink as he relied on the cold tap water to try to and level himself. He didn’t hear anything but the running water, unaware of anything but his own pounding heart until he felt soft hands wrapping a blanket around his shoulders, and those same hands stroking up and down his spine soothingly. 

“It was just a dream,” Felicity whispered from his side, her lips close to his ear. “It was just a dream, Oliver, and it’s over now,” she told him, pressing soft kisses onto his cheek.

“It felt...real…” Oliver whispered back, shutting off the cold tap as he found himself slowly beginning to feel normal again within Felicity’s embrace. It marvelled him how her arms made him feel safer, despite the fact she was smaller than him. Thanks to the blanket she’d bought him, the shivers racking his body started to ease off. “So real…” his quiet voice muttered, and he looked away to his other side, hoping that she wouldn’t be able to see the shine of tears in his eyes.

She did see, however, and the minimal light made those blue eyes seem all the more pained with the tears threatening to spill. “I know,” she replied softly, not dismissing his fears because to knock him down this badly took strength she wasn’t sure nightmares possessed until she’d seen him like this. “But this is more real, Oliver. This is real,” she assured him, making him look at her. When his face turned to hers, she leaned in and placed two soft kisses beneath each of his eyes, using her lips to wipe away the damp patches beneath them, and put her arms more securely around his shoulders.

“This is real…” Oliver sighed loudly, repeating her words until he was assuring himself of the same reality. He closed his eyes and buried his face into Felicity’s neck. Here, he was surrounded by the softness of her skin, the warmth of her body against his, and the incredibly reassuring feel of the thud of her pulse against his cheek. He made no attempt to move away from her, inhaling her calming scent as she enclosed him in her arms.

Felicity waited until she felt him relax. First, his breathing calmed into deep, steady breaths she could easily have mistaken for the breathing pattern of a sleeping man. Next, she felt the tremors cease running through his muscles. She turned her head to the side, kissing his temple as she slid her arms down to his hands. “Let’s go back to bed,” she instructed him gently, pulling on his hands to lead him back to the bedroom.

“Bed...sleeping…” he repeated, following her back to the bed they shared because despite his deepest fears he would follow this woman - his woman - anywhere. There was nowhere Felicity would lead him that he wouldn’t go to with her, even when the idea of falling asleep again that night scared him. He didn’t want to see the image of that gun to her head again, but before he could argue against it he felt the pillows beneath his head and the blanket pulled up over his shoulders. 

He had one addition this time, and that was the woman he loved curled around him. He lay on his side facing her, and when one of her arms slid beneath his neck he followed that pull to rest her head on the top of her chest, his forehead nuzzled into the space at the base of her throat. When her other arm came up around his chest, he slid his up her back, his hand seeking the body warmth he could only get by pressing his forearm up the length of her back. Their legs tangled together, and he felt the soft kisses peppered against the top of his head, sinking into this peacefulness only she could give him.

“I love you,” his thick voice rumbled against her skin. He felt it vibrate against where his forehead rested, and this felt so warm, so safe, that he wanted to drown in her presence and never surface again. “I’m fine now, you should sleep,” he whispered, hoping that he hadn’t spiked her concern too much. 

It was a lie, she knew. He wasn’t fine, he never was after a nightmare. She may not have known how to wake him from one, but she knew how to calm him through what followed, even when it hit peak pain levels for him. The way he clung to her, even as he fell asleep, meant that she didn’t need to ask whose death had haunted him that night. He’d seen so much death in his life that he desperately feared the one he’d yet to see. Hers.

So she told him that she loved him. She told him he was safe. And she told him so until she felt his breathing level out, and sleep claim him far quicker than she imagined. But she didn’t sleep, not tonight. She remained awake, alert and on guard for any stirring in him.

There would be no more nightmares tonight.


End file.
